And So Life Drags Me Along...

    As one can see by the absence of posts, I successfully managed to push out another baby and now have my hands too full to write once a month which was my New Year's resolution in 2011. I consider this a positive thing and imagine that no one has really missed me bragging about my toddler and my random theological "lightbulbs." But here I am again. The lure of writing something that likeminded individuals in this world could somehow stumble upon just will not let go!
    As predicted, I returned to school with less enthusiasm than I had for my first year but I'm back all the same. So how is life with a (soon-to-be) 2 year old, a new baby, and a full load of classes? I get asked this question a lot but honestly when I try to think of some word, phrase, or even a paragraph that can accurately explain it, I come up blank. I really do not think there is a way to describe the horror of how completely exhausted and overwhelmed I am. I'm pretty sure I would have gone completely mad by this point if it wasn't for my excellent skills of talking myself out of doing things insane people do (yes, I know that talking to one's self is considered one of those things but I digress) and for the wonderful soothing song "When I Call On Jesus" by Nicole C. Mullen. I am serious by the way. That song, which always brings my focus back to the real reason I am living the life I am, has pulled me through some very rough nights!
    But back to the question at hand; because my mind is always blank, I usually just swallow the gigantic lump in my throat, crack a smile open and say "well, I'm pretty tired but I manage." Sad, I know. But if I was to do what I really want to do and say there would be a lot of blubbering, tears, runny snot, hysterical sobs, and long rants about how life is super hard and I don't know if I can deal with it. But at least now I understand a little why other moms have pretty much the same response when I ask them how they do it.
    Along with nearly going insane, I have developed a (sort of) scary obsession. Pretty much every other mom who has more than two kids is under my closest scrutiny and observation. "How does she DO it?" "Why is she not bald yet?" "How is she so skinny?" "How is it that every time I see her kids, they are all scrubbed clean and have nicely combed hair?" "What does her house look like?" "If she breastfed every one of her kids, how does she not have a saggy bosom?" "How ON EARTH does she DO it?" And so on...
   I wonder about all these things because I have never felt so completely needed at any time in my life right now. My man needs quality time with me, my toddler needs constant attention, my baby needs me in order to live (quite literally), and every professor wants me to have assignments done well in a way that is not generic and unimaginitive and of course turned in on time. Maybe it doesn't look so bad when written down, but when you are experiencing it, this really has a whole different draining effect on one's being. Hence the hovering threat of turning into a mad hatter.
    Well, this really is beginning to turn into a somewhat sour post so maybe I will close it before it becomes downright rotten. I will leave you, dear patient reader, with a link to this song. Click here. Do it! You will be encouraged if you listen.