I've been busy. There are times I feel I am in wading through a bog, every step takes great effort and I end up going nowhere. I am tired but cannot rest because time is ticking faster than I can comprehend. So many things are going on at once. My daughter is growing up so fast, learning new words and doing so many new things that I barely even notice because I'm not around. My belly has suddenly become swollen with another growing child. I felt it's limbs poking at my insides all night last night. Even as I type it is running laps in my womb. Fall semester with all it's many demands are beginning to loom closer... making me dread the piles of papers that will somehow be written by me and the long hours of lecture and attempts to read books filled with knowledge that I want to learn well but will only absorb a small fraction because every class I take will demand so much more time than the other. And then there is camp.
Somehow I managed to be cooking at summer camp. Not only cooking but planning the weekly menus, ordering, and managing an assistant and whatever volunteer that walks through the door in the morning. I love camp, so much nostalgia is hidden in it's framework for all of the older generations to come and reminisce about, and so much fun is to be had for all the little bundles of energy who pile in every week. But camp is tiring. It asks for so much from every individual, and even though you know at all times that it is worth every minute you pour into it, it still drains every molecule of energy you started out with in the Spring.
Still, the combination of kids, the great outdoors, and food fascinates me daily. Particularly the food.
At home, I watch my toddler smear food into every pore on her face and into every hair follicle on her head on a daily basis. Already she is picky about what she'll eat and the result of a food not appreciated is usually violent spitting and then little fingers daintily throwing said food off of her tray. Later when she is cleaned up and roaming the kitchen floor she finds the rejected food and her dainty little fingers carry it over to the trash bin to be thrown away for good.
Observing my finicky toddler has instilled a deep fear of the combination of 50+ kids and whatever food I have on my menu. I have nightmares about tables full of kids spitting out food that I cooked and throwing it all in the trash. Everytime a long line has assembled and I lift the cover off of the main course and see inquisitive eyes drilling into their future meal I feel as small as an ant and find myself wanting a volunteer to dish it out instead because I don't want to hear questions like, "what IS that?" and "That looks funny, I don't want it." or even "I don't eat that at home, why would I eat it here!" Thankfully my fears are not really worth the time I spent on them as there are rarely leftovers and many kids end up complaining about there not being thirds. Kids that do complain or break down into hysterical sobs are usually more than happy to have a dry, mundane pb&j sandwich.
My favorite moments are when a camper comes running up to the line after a meal and shouts out that "that was THE best meal I've had and I LOVE camp because of it!" That one line can melt my heart, make me want to cry, and make the whole summer of exhaustion worthwhile... everytime.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
My Toddler's Growing World.
Watching my daughter grow from baby-hood into toddler-hood has not been without it's share of frustrations and wishing time would slow down, but it has also been so much fun! Watching her develop a curiosity for the world around her and discovering her creative imagination has filled me with awe at how the human brain so quickly and intricately develops. She's currently 15 months old and even just in the time span of this one beautiful lazy Sunday she has done so many things that make me pause and say, "where did you learn that?" Enjoy the ensuing montage if you wish...
- We took her down to the lakeside beach today. It was a very windy day and the water was still very cold. But she had never been so close to such a big "bathtub" before and charged right into the lapping waves. The complete look of shock on her face was priceless when she discovered that is was not warm like the other water mom and dad let her play in. Never-the-less the cold didn't stop her and she kept tottering right back in. She busied herself picking out pretty colored pebbles and stringy lake algae to add to her growing list of collectable items.
- Another collectable item she discovered on our little trip was one of those long skinny reeds that weigh next to nothing and bugs like to hide out inside of. She chose a particularly long one and decided to take it back home with her. Once she was strapped into her stroller and we were on our way she enjoyed thwacking nearby bushes and tapping the ground as it rolled by. This soon became too boring and the length of the reed was getting shorter with each big thwack she gave. So intead she diverted her attention to shoving the reed between the double weels on the front of the stroller. This continued to shorten the length of the reed but she was not to be diverted. By the time we got home, the reed, which was originally about 2 1/2 times as tall as her, was as short as her arm. Somehow it is still in her litte pile of collectables outside our door.
-I was busy baking lemon drop cookies today when she decided to pull the other cooling rack from the cupboard under the sink and play with it. No big deal to me, she does that all the time. But then I started hearing her little grunts and mumbling under breath along with other suspicious sounds so I decided to investigate. What a sight! She apparently really wanted to go outside so she managed to slide the cooling rack under the screen door and was trying with all her might to pry the door open with it! "How did she ever figure that out?" I don't have a clue and have decided to just chalk it up to her being a little "Miss Macgyver" in the making.
- My lovely daughter has also been expanding her tastes for the culinary side of her growing world! I was so proud of her today when I gave her a piece of deviled egg and she gobbled it up without cringing or acting like it was strange at all! She was even begging for more! I was very happy to report to her dad that she does not take after him when it comes to being picky about unusual foods!
The day is not over yet and I'm sure she will continue to surprise me with so much more. I hope you enjoyed that small "peek in the window" at a day in the life of our growing toddler.
- We took her down to the lakeside beach today. It was a very windy day and the water was still very cold. But she had never been so close to such a big "bathtub" before and charged right into the lapping waves. The complete look of shock on her face was priceless when she discovered that is was not warm like the other water mom and dad let her play in. Never-the-less the cold didn't stop her and she kept tottering right back in. She busied herself picking out pretty colored pebbles and stringy lake algae to add to her growing list of collectable items.
- Another collectable item she discovered on our little trip was one of those long skinny reeds that weigh next to nothing and bugs like to hide out inside of. She chose a particularly long one and decided to take it back home with her. Once she was strapped into her stroller and we were on our way she enjoyed thwacking nearby bushes and tapping the ground as it rolled by. This soon became too boring and the length of the reed was getting shorter with each big thwack she gave. So intead she diverted her attention to shoving the reed between the double weels on the front of the stroller. This continued to shorten the length of the reed but she was not to be diverted. By the time we got home, the reed, which was originally about 2 1/2 times as tall as her, was as short as her arm. Somehow it is still in her litte pile of collectables outside our door.
-I was busy baking lemon drop cookies today when she decided to pull the other cooling rack from the cupboard under the sink and play with it. No big deal to me, she does that all the time. But then I started hearing her little grunts and mumbling under breath along with other suspicious sounds so I decided to investigate. What a sight! She apparently really wanted to go outside so she managed to slide the cooling rack under the screen door and was trying with all her might to pry the door open with it! "How did she ever figure that out?" I don't have a clue and have decided to just chalk it up to her being a little "Miss Macgyver" in the making.
- My lovely daughter has also been expanding her tastes for the culinary side of her growing world! I was so proud of her today when I gave her a piece of deviled egg and she gobbled it up without cringing or acting like it was strange at all! She was even begging for more! I was very happy to report to her dad that she does not take after him when it comes to being picky about unusual foods!
The day is not over yet and I'm sure she will continue to surprise me with so much more. I hope you enjoyed that small "peek in the window" at a day in the life of our growing toddler.
Friday, April 15, 2011
A Crunchy Carpet is Made Beareable When the Toilet Sparkles.
With an energetic toddler and the constant shadow of homework it seems I am always trying to find ways to keep my little apartment somewhat less horrific than a tornado wreck. Or at least I was. A few months ago I very carefully urinated on an expensive gadget and it had the audacity to tell me what I already knew. I am growing another human.
So far the little baby has done nothing but make me extremely incapacitated for days at a time. I manage to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, gag down something that resembles breakfast, and then snooze through most of my classes. (In which I randomly wake to say something that makes me sound intelligent but more often than not I can't enunciate a word properly and sound like a bird-brained hippo instead.) Upon dragging myself back home I usually find a mess that has been accumulating for several days and my ultra-sensitive nose instantly picks out smells that a dog might not be able to catch. This smell causes me to gag violently upon opening the front door and I plop down on the nearest couch and beg my body to keep the contents of my stomach where they should be. And this is where I stay, for several hours.
The only reason our apartment hasn't had a tragic explosion from the accumulated fermenting laundry and dishes is because I have been blessed with a wonderful man. He has taken it upon himself to do the worst of my domestic duties. Without him, I'm sure I would be gagging out the last of my stomach bile and then keeling over dead. I often imagine this scenario when he's gone. Pathetic, I know.
But what about when my life-saver is gone? Like tonight, when he left for work and I wanted to cry because I knew I had to face the horror of my apartment alone. Well, that's when I have to tell myself to "grow up" and just do what I have to do. After chasing my daughter around, trying to get her to eat something nutritious for the day and only succeeding in getting the healthy tidbits smeared in my hair, I realized that my child stinks! Really, really stinks! Somehow toddlers have this ever-present smell of pee mixed with food. I knew a bath was in order for the night and that's how I stumbled upon the art of multi-tasking!
Yes, it's been around forever and I have mastered it quite well in the workplace and when I'm at home in perfectly good health, but effective multitasking when all your mind-power is focused on the quickest route to the toilet? Hmmmmm.
I plopped my excited tot into the bathwater and decided that I would just sit and watch her splash. I plopped my own self on the bathroom floor and came to be eye-level with the toilet. What I saw I cannot describe. It was terrible! I then peeked down at the floor I was so mindlessly sitting on and was even more shocked. How was this possible? I feel like I just cleaned it... oh wait, a month ago? No wonder this house stinks!
That's when my multi-tasking skills kicked in. I grabbed cleaning supplies out of the closet and went berserk. All the while keeping a close eye on my gleefully splashing child and staying in close proximity to the toilet. (Just in case.) I even discovered that if I put a towel down right in front of the tub, it soaks up the water being dumped out of the tub and when I'm done cleaning everything else the towel works great as a mop for the floor!
By the time my stinky child was clean, the bathroom was sparkling and I felt useful again! My joy was somewhat diminished when I stepped out of the bathroom and onto carpet that crunched a little. It turned out to be a pretzel stick that my child is very fond of chewing on and then leaving the last bit to lie on the carpet or to be hidden in some obscure corner.
But I am so thankful for the clean toilet right now! Even now as I sit and type this a part of my mind is berating me for not scrubbing the kitchen instead. But it has been a long day and there is a smile on my face as I think about the sparkly toilet.
So far the little baby has done nothing but make me extremely incapacitated for days at a time. I manage to drag myself out of bed in the mornings, gag down something that resembles breakfast, and then snooze through most of my classes. (In which I randomly wake to say something that makes me sound intelligent but more often than not I can't enunciate a word properly and sound like a bird-brained hippo instead.) Upon dragging myself back home I usually find a mess that has been accumulating for several days and my ultra-sensitive nose instantly picks out smells that a dog might not be able to catch. This smell causes me to gag violently upon opening the front door and I plop down on the nearest couch and beg my body to keep the contents of my stomach where they should be. And this is where I stay, for several hours.
The only reason our apartment hasn't had a tragic explosion from the accumulated fermenting laundry and dishes is because I have been blessed with a wonderful man. He has taken it upon himself to do the worst of my domestic duties. Without him, I'm sure I would be gagging out the last of my stomach bile and then keeling over dead. I often imagine this scenario when he's gone. Pathetic, I know.
But what about when my life-saver is gone? Like tonight, when he left for work and I wanted to cry because I knew I had to face the horror of my apartment alone. Well, that's when I have to tell myself to "grow up" and just do what I have to do. After chasing my daughter around, trying to get her to eat something nutritious for the day and only succeeding in getting the healthy tidbits smeared in my hair, I realized that my child stinks! Really, really stinks! Somehow toddlers have this ever-present smell of pee mixed with food. I knew a bath was in order for the night and that's how I stumbled upon the art of multi-tasking!
Yes, it's been around forever and I have mastered it quite well in the workplace and when I'm at home in perfectly good health, but effective multitasking when all your mind-power is focused on the quickest route to the toilet? Hmmmmm.
I plopped my excited tot into the bathwater and decided that I would just sit and watch her splash. I plopped my own self on the bathroom floor and came to be eye-level with the toilet. What I saw I cannot describe. It was terrible! I then peeked down at the floor I was so mindlessly sitting on and was even more shocked. How was this possible? I feel like I just cleaned it... oh wait, a month ago? No wonder this house stinks!
That's when my multi-tasking skills kicked in. I grabbed cleaning supplies out of the closet and went berserk. All the while keeping a close eye on my gleefully splashing child and staying in close proximity to the toilet. (Just in case.) I even discovered that if I put a towel down right in front of the tub, it soaks up the water being dumped out of the tub and when I'm done cleaning everything else the towel works great as a mop for the floor!
By the time my stinky child was clean, the bathroom was sparkling and I felt useful again! My joy was somewhat diminished when I stepped out of the bathroom and onto carpet that crunched a little. It turned out to be a pretzel stick that my child is very fond of chewing on and then leaving the last bit to lie on the carpet or to be hidden in some obscure corner.
But I am so thankful for the clean toilet right now! Even now as I sit and type this a part of my mind is berating me for not scrubbing the kitchen instead. But it has been a long day and there is a smile on my face as I think about the sparkly toilet.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Half-chewed Toast and a Call to Unity.
Between dodging pieces of half-chewed toast spewed in my direction via. a certain 1 year old and in turn spooning globs of strawberry yogurt into said toddler's mouth, I managed to read at least one page this morning in the Expositors Bible Commentary (Ephesians~Philipians) written by Tremper Longman III & David E. Garland. I am reading the section on Ephesians 4:1-7 to gather information for my impending exposition on Friday. Once again, I assumed this book would be boring and I wasn't disappointed. Like many commentaries it seems to drag on and on, detailing the link of the current phrase to some overlooked word in the previous chapter. Mud. Thick, cold mud to my tired brain.
But once again, I have been surprised at how certain parts just jump out at me, grab onto my heart and won't let me forget. Please bear with me as I share.
"Unity has a spiritual basis, but it has visible results. Perhaps its attainment in history has been so difficult because Christians have not sought spiritual unity. They have pursued their own (often conflicting) agendas---which they have called "unity." To strive for the unity the Spirit produces, requires that one incontestably pursue God's agenda."
"This is the theological reality --- the indicative: Christ achieved peace via. His death. Now follows the imperative: Christians must implement unity by sparing no efforts to live in peace. In effect, "Become what you are." Quarreling, fractures, and hostilities --- either on the level of the church universal or within each local church --- destroy the unity of the Spirit."
Growing up in many different churches I got to witness firsthand the destruction that a church full of people with own "agendas" for unity can cause. Families are hurt, children are confused and wonder why they can't go play with their friends anymore, and the Great Commission given by Jesus to all believers is forgotten and trampled underfoot by everyone's differences.
Something very interesting I have come across on the internet is this article about the Lutheren church asking forgiveness from the Anabaptist church. Click here -> Lutherens seek forgiveness.
The Lutheren church very strongly opposed the Anabaptists when they first originated. Even going so far as to slaughter thousands of them in cold blood. I love that they have finally decided to make ammends even though it is hundreds of years later. There are individual churches I know of that would probably never think of doing this because they are still living for their own agendas. Sad, and quite disgusting if you ask me.
"The church is the beachhead for a peace that is to extend to the cosmos." - Yoder Neufeld
But once again, I have been surprised at how certain parts just jump out at me, grab onto my heart and won't let me forget. Please bear with me as I share.
"Unity has a spiritual basis, but it has visible results. Perhaps its attainment in history has been so difficult because Christians have not sought spiritual unity. They have pursued their own (often conflicting) agendas---which they have called "unity." To strive for the unity the Spirit produces, requires that one incontestably pursue God's agenda."
"This is the theological reality --- the indicative: Christ achieved peace via. His death. Now follows the imperative: Christians must implement unity by sparing no efforts to live in peace. In effect, "Become what you are." Quarreling, fractures, and hostilities --- either on the level of the church universal or within each local church --- destroy the unity of the Spirit."
Growing up in many different churches I got to witness firsthand the destruction that a church full of people with own "agendas" for unity can cause. Families are hurt, children are confused and wonder why they can't go play with their friends anymore, and the Great Commission given by Jesus to all believers is forgotten and trampled underfoot by everyone's differences.
Something very interesting I have come across on the internet is this article about the Lutheren church asking forgiveness from the Anabaptist church. Click here -> Lutherens seek forgiveness.
The Lutheren church very strongly opposed the Anabaptists when they first originated. Even going so far as to slaughter thousands of them in cold blood. I love that they have finally decided to make ammends even though it is hundreds of years later. There are individual churches I know of that would probably never think of doing this because they are still living for their own agendas. Sad, and quite disgusting if you ask me.
"The church is the beachhead for a peace that is to extend to the cosmos." - Yoder Neufeld
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I Finally Get It.
I used to be very judgmental towards frumpy looking mothers with messy houses. *gasp* I know, I just typed that. Here's some more *gasp* material for you; I used to think that moms with messy houses were lazy! (Don't even try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about, you childless neat-freaks out there...) Well, now I know. I finally get it. What do I "get?" Here's my list:
- I get why the house never seems to be clean. I could seriously clean all day and the house would probably be right back to the point where I began in a matter of minutes. Toddlers like to make stuff dirty. They are like little "un-vaccummers" that whirl around the house spewing out messes on a whim. Usually following me as I am cleaning.
- I get why some kids never have a clean face. Cleaning my kid's face off sounds like a man passing a kidney stone. People out of sight but within hearing distance probably think I'm torturing my little munchkin as I gently wipe nasty crusties off her face. And it doesn't matter how often I wipe her off, it's dirty again in minutes. I have no idea how or why either, it's like her face is a magnet for dirt!
- I get why the favorite outfit for moms is jeans, a t-shirt, and running shoes. Seriously, forget the heels when you have to run after a little hurricane. You'll break something! And t-shirts usually can't be pulled down far enough to expose things that shouldn't be exposed.
- I get why moms have a permanent "ouch" look on their faces. Besides the birth, motherhood is really painful! Just today my sweet little one lost her temper while I was trying to organize the pantry and she THREW a can of food at my foot! Then there's the biting, the hair-pulling, the pinching, the screaming, the intentional scratching with fingernails that are always too long.
A Lightbulb in the Middle of a Muddy Read.
This semester I've been taking a Christian Faith class at 8:00am. It has been tough to keep myself focused on the stuff being taught because of the early "ish" hour and the subject being covered. Our class textbook, "Systematic Theology" by Wayne Grudem, has been another struggle as it weighs a good 5 Lbs (More like 3 but it's really heavy and huge!) and takes a lot of concentration to be able to extract anything memorable from it's pages.
I was reading a chapter yesterday morning on the "Sufficiency of Scripture." I was trying not to skim or be absentminded about what I was reading because it really was pretty boring. Until something caught my eye... "In other cases, continued or even increasing disobedience to these new "sins" will result, together with a false sense of guilt and a resulting alienation from God."
"Huh? What new sins..." I mumbled to myself as I slowly came out of my half-asleep trance. I knew this guy was full of it. But after backtracking and paying attention to what I was reading I kinda had a light bulb moment! Here's the snippets, minus all the "futhermores and therefores," that jumped out at me.
I was reading a chapter yesterday morning on the "Sufficiency of Scripture." I was trying not to skim or be absentminded about what I was reading because it really was pretty boring. Until something caught my eye... "In other cases, continued or even increasing disobedience to these new "sins" will result, together with a false sense of guilt and a resulting alienation from God."
"Huh? What new sins..." I mumbled to myself as I slowly came out of my half-asleep trance. I knew this guy was full of it. But after backtracking and paying attention to what I was reading I kinda had a light bulb moment! Here's the snippets, minus all the "futhermores and therefores," that jumped out at me.
"With regard to the Christian life, the sufficiency of Scripture reminds us that nothing is sin that is not forbidden by Scripture either explicitly or by implication...we are not to add prohibitions to those already stated in Scripture...This is an important principle because there is always the tendency among believers to begin to neglect the regular daily searching of Scripture for guidance and to begin to live by a set of written or unwritten rules (or denominational traditions) concerning what one does or does not do...we add to the list of sins that are prohibited by Scripture itself..."
"The Holy Spirit will not empower obedience to rules that do not have God's approval from Scripture, nor will believers generally find delight in obedience to commands that do not accord with the laws of God written on their hearts. In some cases, Christians may repeatedly and earnestly and plead with God for "victory" over supposed sins that are in fact no sins at all, yet no "victory" will be given, for the attitude or action in question is in fact not a sin and is not displeasing to God. Great discouragement in prayer and frustration in the Christian life generally may be the outcome. "
So what about you, do you often add a list of your own "prohibitions" and beat yourself up for not being able to overcome them? I know I do, then I think I'm not good enough for God and feel immensely guilty and like I can't ever be one of those good Christians. I think we women have a harder time with this then men because we are soooooo critical of ourselves!I have returned to the world of blogging.
I am sick of not being able to write what I really want to in the short snippets that Facebook allows, I miss anonymity, I miss not knowing when a long-lost friend took a shower, and I miss seeing proper grammar being used and words being spelled correctly.
What will I write about? I'm sure my topics will center around my life as a student mom, my hobbies, (mostly sewing, painting, and cooking. Yes, I'm so domesticated. Ha!) and ponderings of the world around me. Besides wanting to write thoroughly on topics that are important to me, I need to be able to write freely again. Returning to school has shown me that I have lost the ability to think in paraghraphs. My train of thought has been reduced to short snippets and I have had to delete smiley faces from papers. There was a time in my life when a friend of mine had to teach me what : plus ) meant via email. So maybe there is even a little bit of nostalgia included. Whatever the case, I hope I can bring about some good in these thoughts and free myself from the sense of fake living that is wrapped up in a simple status.
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